poem
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Tonight is Halloween || A poem
She exhaled listlessly
& her spirit escaped.
Her body called it quits
& thus, her soul reshaped.
She began a new life
in the pale, grey moonlight.
This was a special time,
it was Halloween night.
She opened her blue eyes
Do you know what she saw?
She looked at her still self;
it was her last hurrah.
Her name was Athena,
like the goddess of war.
She dusted herself off
& arose from the floor.
Her body just lay there,
but her soul was alive.
That's when she decided
it was her time to thrive.
So she floated away
& explored somewhere new.
That's not really something
she would normally do.
Quiet & heartbroken,
cheerless, sad, & somber,
Timid & powerless,
too frightened to wander.
Fearful of everything,
she was not at all brave.
However, that all changed
when she sprung from the grave.
You're probably asking:
"Why on earth should I care?"
The reason is plain but
it may give you a scare.
She would like you to know
that life is not easy.
There are troubles to have;
it won't all be breezy.
Life is quite difficult
until the day you die.
Then you take your last breath
& mutter a goodbye.
Your body soon decays
& you become a ghost.
You'll meet with the others
& you'll all raise a toast:
Cheers to life & to death,
to the haunting we'll do,
to spooking the children,
& always yelling "BOO!"
To tricking & treating,
to pumpkins & to pranks,
to stealing some candy
with no need to say thanks.
To goblins & spiders,
& to the webs they weave.
Because of all of this
our souls shall never leave.
That's why it's so spooky.
No one will hear you scream.
After all, don't you know?
Tonight is Halloween.
Tonight is Halloween
A poem by Carmen Varner
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Wishing you a happy Halloween. Have fun & stay safe!
Did you enjoy this poem? Feel free to share it! What are your plans today? :]
Dark vs. Light || A poem
Look, I don't want to see you
in any kind of vision.
You're haunting, taunting my mind
treating it like a prison.
Well, let me tell you something
you probably ought to know.
You executed me once,
Truth is you softened the blow.
I dream about it often:
I'm flying high in the air,
escaping from what kills me,
but you greet me with despair.
Seems it's inevitable
that you'd stir up a terror.
Karma will get you, I know.
Call it trial & error.
I admit there's no denying
You may have won the first fight
That was then, this is now &
darkness always falls to light.
I am illuminated
by the ghost of the prior.
Consider me as a sun
Burning noble ball of fire.
I shall triumph past darkness,
shining like the brightest star.
My journey doesn't stop here
I'll continue to go far.
Bid adieu to all evil,
the wicked & the corrupt.
This is a revolution;
The intent is to disrupt
you from your malignant plot.
One sip from the holy grail
& it acknowledges that
the good will always prevail.
A poem by Carmen Varner
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Ocean || A poem
Ocean || A poem by Carmen Varner
Have you ever wanted something so bad
so so bad
that it brought you to tears?
I don't mean those crying tears.
I'm talking about those tears of passion
& rage
& hope
& yearning.
The tears that mean the most.
The water droplets that fall from my eyes
in moments of pure admiration of the future,
in moments of wonder,
in moments of hopefulness
in moments of stress.
These moments come by stampede,
crushing my hatred
& taking over my soul.
I am not sad.
I am not crying.
These are tears.
These drops fell from my heart
& into reality.
I will try
& then I'll try again.
Then I'll try once more
until I become the ocean
my tears created
& the tide will bring me home.
By Carmen Varner
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Try. Try. Try. Until one day you DO. This poem is for those of us who have a vision & want to achieve it. This poem is for those of us who have no idea where they are or where they're going. This poem is for those of us who are trying every single day regardless of everything that sets us back. You can do it. We can do it. Nobody knows how far you've come.
What are your thoughts about Ocean? Do you have any passion(s) that bring you to tears? Tell me a little bit about yourself. What are your goals? :]
Wingless || A poem
I wondered wholeheartedly
as the whiskey wooed my wounds.
I wandered within my wisdom
while the warmth of the world
washed away my worries
& the wind whispered wordlessly.
Why wish upon the stars
when I can walk among them?
Why wait for the earth to be woven
when I can weave it myself?
Why worry about worthless wars
when I am waging them within my wellbeing?
I am wingless but still worthy;
I am wild but still working,
willfully but not woefully.
Wherever I will whimsy,
I wondered wholeheartedly.
By Carmen Varner
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Wingless is about the internal struggle we have within us. We wage a war upon ourselves by constantly criticizing our bodies, underestimating our power, doubting our self-worth. But we are everything & more. Why wish upon the stars when I can walk among them? Don't idolize others, when you are the star. We are stars, we are worth it. Why wait for the earth to be woven when I can weave it myself? We don't have to wait for our futures because we create it every day. We don't need others to do work for us when we are more than capable of doing it ourselves. Why worry about worthless wars when I am waging them within my wellbeing? All these thoughts & problems rise from our own minds. Change your attitude & stop the war against yourself.
What are your thoughts about being Wingless? What did you gather from my poem? I love to learn how others translate what I write. Let me know. :]
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Dreams // A Poem
As the night turned to the day
& our bodies turned to dust,
I thought about life's purpose
& what will happen to us.
I pondered about my past.
I wondered about yours too.
Will we accomplish our dreams,
everything we wanted to?
We are dreamers, my dearest.
We've got our heads in the sky,
but I like us like that, love.
We can make it if we try.
So if we end up falling
we can land high on a cloud.
Let's do our best & do it hard.
Then we can always be proud.
Let It Go
I said I 'd never do this again
But I did now & did it then.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
I should let it go.
Turns out we are all just lost.
Yearning success at any cost.
Find a penny pick it up;
maybe you'll get good luck.
But you really never know.
You should let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
I think you should let it go.
We're bickering daily it seems, baby.
I was thinking, I dunno maybe.
Maybe it's you, maybe it's me.
Maybe it's us and that makes we.
Who's right? Well I dunno.
I think we should let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
We should just let it go.
Time for the world to see some change.
Peace shouldn't seem all that strange.
Enough with the wars and the hate.
Two words: mortality rate.
Something for something, quid pro quo.
We really should let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let's all let it go.
By Carmen Varner
But I did now & did it then.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
I should let it go.
Turns out we are all just lost.
Yearning success at any cost.
Find a penny pick it up;
maybe you'll get good luck.
But you really never know.
You should let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
I think you should let it go.
We're bickering daily it seems, baby.
I was thinking, I dunno maybe.
Maybe it's you, maybe it's me.
Maybe it's us and that makes we.
Who's right? Well I dunno.
I think we should let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
We should just let it go.
Time for the world to see some change.
Peace shouldn't seem all that strange.
Enough with the wars and the hate.
Two words: mortality rate.
Something for something, quid pro quo.
We really should let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Let's all let it go.
By Carmen Varner
A Glass Door // A Poem
My life is like a glass door.
I can see the other side.
It's sunny & green & lush.
It's everything I wanted it to be
& it's forgotten everything I loathe.
But this glass door is just that.
A glass door.
A barrier.
A clear wall.
I can visualize, imagine, think & ponder
but I can't get to the other side.
If I am a plant,
I must bloom where I'm rooted.
But I don't wish to be rooted here.
By Carmen Varner
I can see the other side.
It's sunny & green & lush.
It's everything I wanted it to be
& it's forgotten everything I loathe.
But this glass door is just that.
A glass door.
A barrier.
A clear wall.
I can visualize, imagine, think & ponder
but I can't get to the other side.
If I am a plant,
I must bloom where I'm rooted.
But I don't wish to be rooted here.
By Carmen Varner
Fall Becomes Winter // A Poem About Autumn Festivities
i can't wait for crisp cool nights
& christmas lights
& scarves & fuzzy socks,
for films & tea & holding hands
& never ending fun,
for foggy mornings & rainy days
until the year is done,
for pumpkin pie & cinnamon
& all those tasty eats,
for costumes & candy
& spooky trick or treats.
for me, i love this time of year
it's the happiness, the love
& that overall sense of cheer.
i better not blink too fast
because i don't want it to end
but it never seems to last.
By Carmen Varner
& christmas lights
& scarves & fuzzy socks,
for films & tea & holding hands
& never ending fun,
for foggy mornings & rainy days
until the year is done,
for pumpkin pie & cinnamon
& all those tasty eats,
for costumes & candy
& spooky trick or treats.
for me, i love this time of year
it's the happiness, the love
& that overall sense of cheer.
i better not blink too fast
because i don't want it to end
but it never seems to last.
By Carmen Varner
Back to the Light
There was a time when life was a nightmare
& nightmares followed my dreams.
Reality was a horror,
a mess,
like me.
And then there you were.
You followed me into the dark abyss,
which I desperately tried to escape,
and brought me back to the light.
By Carmen Varner
& nightmares followed my dreams.
Reality was a horror,
a mess,
like me.
And then there you were.
You followed me into the dark abyss,
which I desperately tried to escape,
and brought me back to the light.
By Carmen Varner
Your Thoughtful Kiss
I never knew that the touch of your callused hand
would feel so gentle against my freckled, sun kissed skin.
And your thoughtful kiss upon my forehead
speaks volumes about the adoration within the chambers of your heart.
It's not a beating box of blood vessels
but a testament to your commitment.
I knew you & you knew me
but now we know each other wholly.
The monotony of a Monday morning vanishes instantaneously
the moment I receive your message.
There should never be a night when we don't sleep side by side,
but life never goes according to one's wishes.
Tonight, I shall rest my head against my pillow solely.
The only trace of you is
the memories in my mind,
the photos on my phone,
the smell of your laundry detergent on the sweater you lent me.
You're rarely with me
but I wish you were.
By Carmen Varner
would feel so gentle against my freckled, sun kissed skin.
And your thoughtful kiss upon my forehead
speaks volumes about the adoration within the chambers of your heart.
It's not a beating box of blood vessels
but a testament to your commitment.
I knew you & you knew me
but now we know each other wholly.
The monotony of a Monday morning vanishes instantaneously
the moment I receive your message.
There should never be a night when we don't sleep side by side,
but life never goes according to one's wishes.
Tonight, I shall rest my head against my pillow solely.
The only trace of you is
the memories in my mind,
the photos on my phone,
the smell of your laundry detergent on the sweater you lent me.
You're rarely with me
but I wish you were.
By Carmen Varner
Wind Whispers
We sat at the wooden bench.
The sunshine soaked into me.
I felt the rays warm my entire soul.
It's so joyous.
A monarch fluttered by us elegantly.
The wind whispered secrets of Earth's essence.
- Carmen Varner
Alien
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| Photo by: Carmen Varner, 2012 |
An excerpt from "Alien," which I wrote July 29, 2012.
"Alien"
By: Carmen Varner
I'm not sure where I am.
All I know is that I'm an alien,
a martian, a one-eyed green monster.
Out of place and alone
in this house of white.
To be alone,
to feel alone
is not as simple as being by yourself.
It's entirely real to be alone in a crowd.
Don't Get Lost
Don't Get Lost
By Carmen Varner
I think I've been down this road before.
But it's too early to tell.
The signs are familiar, yet the street is different.
I hope I don't get lost again.
The times they are a-changin.
But patterns are patterns,
They don't alter when you falter.
22
I can't believe life goes by so fast.
Each day is shorter than the last.
The evening air turns into the brisk morning breeze
then morphs into the warm noon wind through the trees.
Flowers bud, bloom and blossom in the spring.
Then there's always that summer fling.
The leaves change color and begin to fall
And after that winter concludes it all.
Technically, April 10th I turn 22
but to me, today is nothing new.
The sun is shining and my mood is sweet.
To be alive and well is the ultimate treat.
Thank you for your well wishes and support.
But it's super nice out, so I must cut this short.
Each day is shorter than the last.
The evening air turns into the brisk morning breeze
then morphs into the warm noon wind through the trees.
Flowers bud, bloom and blossom in the spring.
Then there's always that summer fling.
The leaves change color and begin to fall
And after that winter concludes it all.
Technically, April 10th I turn 22
but to me, today is nothing new.
The sun is shining and my mood is sweet.
To be alive and well is the ultimate treat.
Thank you for your well wishes and support.
But it's super nice out, so I must cut this short.
:]
A day like this // Poem
A day like this
by Carmen Varner
It's a day like this
that makes me want to stay inside.
The rain pours
and the skies are grey.
I wouldn't want to leave the house anyway.
I wish I could stay in bed,
under the covers,
warm and sheltered from the tears of the atmosphere.
It's a day like this
I feel more confused about my existence than ever.
It's so perplexing how the weather
and our moods
can be so easily swayed.
It's a day like this
I'm reminded of how small I am.
Nothing revolves around me;
I revolve around the sun.
And when I feel down,
I realize the skies don't lie.
They're up there,
up so high.
It's a day like this
I understand I must journey on,
even if heaven cries.
The world won't stop for me,
so I must continue my adventure regardless.
Nevermore
Nevermore
by Carmen Varner
"Honey," she told me. "That's no fun.
Take a seat in the hot, hot sun."
I told her yes and went outside,
where there's no place for me to hide.
My feelings for you just won't go.
It seems that time has made them grow.
I wonder why, I wonder when,
you'll say you want me back again.
"A great day to write, isn't it?
At least life has no speed limit,"
a guy told me as he walked by.
I nodded and tried not to cry,
tears of sadness or tears of joy.
All of this is about one boy.
I told myself to stop this shame.
Nevermore will I say his name.
Lonely, lonely, alone, alone.
By now, this fact should be well known.
A master of unattachment
I thumbed through the petite notebook. It was slightly larger than a deck of cards, but its contents were infinitely greater. The cover included an illustration of a sleepy looking bear with a blue polka dotted nightcap. A dash of Japanese writing accompanied the tired cartoon; the language appeared so foreign in my English-reading brain. However, the outside is unimportant. It's the inside that counts.
Within this little collection of papers was seven days of fluid creativity, thorough inspiration. When I wrote what I wrote within the tiny lined pages of the notebook, I had no idea its words would continue to haunt me 171 days later.
I read through each page. I was searching for something. I became so lost in my own memory that I had forgotten my goal. I remembered when I looked up.
"So which one are you going to choose?" asked my friend, Chandra, as she hovered over me. Her eyes darted from the notebook to me.
Oh right, I thought. I was supposed to decide what I wanted to perform for my theatre class.
"Um, I don't know," I replied, lost in thought.
"I'll help!," she exclaimed and ripped it from my hands. Chandra flipped through and landed on a page. She cleared her throat dramatically and began reading.
"I'm all the way over here. At this precise moment I think of you. I wonder if I cross your mind. Probably not. Should I forget you? I would if I could. Is there some magic potion to erase this feeling? I wouldn't want to do that because you make me feel so much."
I cringed. Man, it was terrible to have to hear that read out loud, especially by a voice other than my own. I had already lived through that instant when I wrote it, I didn't need it echoed by my enthusiastic friend. That's the one part I tried to skip. Did she have to read that one?
"Is this about Bud?" Chandra inquired.
"No," I laughed. Her question truly was humorous. It most definitely was not about Bud. I didn't care about him that much to write about him. Not now. Not ever. This was about someone entirely else.
Chandra fingered through a few more pages and cleared her throat once more.
"I thought of you again. Thankfully this distance has kept me busy. I think of you less. I don't know what to do with this feeling. Shall I sweep it under the rug? Should I move on to someone else? Because I don't think you feel what I feel and it becomes more and more apparent.
Time seems to move on sluggishly. As of now you are not forgotten, but things change. Life will continue. I'll go back to the daily grind and I will not wait for you like a puppy. I've done it before and I vowed to never do it again. I'm doing it now, but I won't allow it to continue.
The issue is finding someone to replace you, as you have a very large part of my heart. Luckily, I'm a master of unattachment. I want you right now, but I don't want someone who doesn't want me.
By the time you realize, it may be too late. It's your loss. They always say that, but I believe it. You may not, however. Because if you did, you'd want me too. I wish I could verbalize all this but I can't in fear of utter rejection, of a change in our relationship.
I don't know what to do anymore. It's borderline unbearable. This gives me plenty to write about, but even more to think about. Slowly but surely, I'll continue on. All these words seem so small in the big picture. Are we even a good match? I don't know."
No, those words could never be about Bud. Though Bud was my present, he could never compete with my past. I didn't say anything. Chandra didn't either. I was completely mortified. My thoughts, though several months old, were lying naked and vulnerable in Chandra's hands.
I decided to break the silence.
"I'll probably go with the thing I wrote about my spiritual enlightenment instead," I told her.
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
I am exhausted from the killing.
White flag.
White dove.
Is anybody willing
to commit to peace
instead of murder?
Your melody is mellifluous // A Poem
your melody is mellifluous
delightful, delectable, delicious
too sugary, it's ridiculous
like april's diamond, pretty precious
skin of satin, lotioned luxurious
drivin me wild, borderline vicious
by Carmen Varner
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